Friday, February 5, 2010

this present age.

modern observations. i think we can all relate.

1. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
2. Shirts get dirty. Socks gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
3. Nothing stinks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
4. Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.
5. Do you remember when you were a kid playing Nintendo and it wouldn't work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or FAQ's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft.
6. I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone's laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I'm still the only one who really, really gets it.
7. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text.
8. Was learning cursive really necessary?
9. Lol has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say".
10. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
11. Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron test is absolutely petrifying.
12. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?
13. Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using 'as in' examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today I had to spell my boss's last name to an attorney and said "Yes that's G as in...(10 second lapse)...ummm...Goonies"
14. MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
15. I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.
16. More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that's not only better, but also more directly involves me.
17. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
18. If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would probably just be completely invisible.
19. Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from, this shouldn't be a problem....
20. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want to have to restart my collection.
21. There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to fall after leaning your chair back a little too far.
22. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.
23. I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching TV. There's so much pressure. 'I love this show, but will they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren't watching this. It's only a matter of time before they all get up and leave the room. Will we still be friends after this?'
24. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Crap!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?
25. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
26. I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.
27. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet my life everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time.

brought to you by the clever people at ruminations.com.

5 comments:

  1. I liked this a lot. There are quite a few I would concur with. And number 20 : all of you that are out there YES don't buy anything besides DVDs. they work just fine.

    ReplyDelete
  2. firstly, I always feel like jojo throws her phone out the window after i miss her call and call her back. Why arent you there? I missed you by twooooooo seconnnndddddsss!
    secondly, I was disapointed that the G as in goonies thing wasn't an actual lauren experience.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I just wanted to see what the handicap accomadation was...

    ReplyDelete
  4. yeah! they had a little wheel chair symbol by the thing where you write the letters and I wanted to see what it did

    ReplyDelete