i never thought about it like this before.

this is an excerpt from David Batstone's book 
Not for Sale: The Return of the Global Slave Trade - and How We Can Fight It: 

We have arrived at a momentous stage in the struggle for human freedom. The curtain has gone up, and the future waits for what unfolds. 

All of us wonder how we would have acted in the epic struggles of human history. Would we have stood up and been counted among the courageous and the just?

How would we have responded in 1942 when Nazi soldiers came to our door in pursuit of our Jewish neighbors? Would we have been the collaborator who reveals to the soldiers where the Jews on our block might be found? Or would we have played the role of the spectator who pleads ignorance, minding our own business and watching the drama unfold from our front room window? Or might we have dared to act as an advocate, giving our neighbors shelter in our attic or helping them escape across the border? 

Would we have stood up and been counted among the just? 

esther - by esterlyn

University Avenue in Minneapolis is the most widely prostituted street per capita in the whole nation.

The Federal Bureau of Investigation identified Minneapolis as one of 13 cities with a high concentration of criminal enterprises promoting juvenile commercial sexual exploitation. 






the paint's peeling off the streets again
and i drive and i close my eyes
and i feel nothing, not brave
it's a hard day for breathing again. 

but there is hope in the Lord.  

bushed.

i would give my left arm to take a nap right now.
and sleep for a day straight.

blessed are those who mourn.

Lord, grant that I may seek rather to comfort
than be comforted, to understand than to be
understood; to love than to be loved; for it is by
forgetting self that one finds; it is by forgiving that
one is forgiven; it is by dying that one awakens
to eternal life.


- St. Francis of Assisi 

When all seems fairly lost and you are lower in spirit than ever before, invest in others...and your light will rise in the darkness [Isaiah 58:7-11].

forget [fer'get] verb - trans: fail to remember.

i bought a $1 mini grow-your-own flower pot kit of forget-me-nots a couple weeks ago. it came with this little pattie of soil that magically grows when you pour a couple tablespoons of water in the pot...it seriously was fascinating to watch. brie and i just stared at it for like three minutes straight as the dirt bubbled and expanded. anyways, so the directions said to put a maximum of ten seeds in the soil (i think this is because the roots would get tangled if there are any more than that)...but, since i had a great lack of faith in my flower growing abilities, i dumped probably close to twenty in.

i think this may have been a poor decision.
with great joy, i awoke yesterday morning to find fifteen little sprouts reaching towards the window. they were so fresh and green, i made brie get off the couch and come look. i was so proud.

good news: they look healthy. bad news: i hope they don't all kill each other as they take over the pot.
i'm going to need a babysitter for this plant over break (march 4-14) to mediate any possible quarreling, any takers?

i think this is a rare cactus plant that i'm in.

so i am currently sitting in a plant trying to type a ten page paper on male vs. female aggression for my psychology of gender class. i'm not actually in the plant, but basically it's the closest i can get to an outlet to plug in my computer...so i have fronds in my face. i and both my amys are currently at the spyhouse coffeeshop which is just about the coolest place i've ever been in downtown minneapolis. we moved from the window seats to a large table since it was closer to the outlet...but even so, i had to ask a random man sitting in the living room area to plug in my charger under the small coffee table. he was like (in his mind but it was written all over his face), "you're weird, but okay, i'll uncomfortably bend over and plug in your cord under this table."

i wish i could draw you all a diagram to show you how awkwardly i am sitting right now.

but seriously, go visit this place...i got like three whole pages typed here. background noise helps me concentrate though...here i'll stick a picture in: see that table to the right? and the plant right beside it? yeah thats the one i was in...although i think it's grown since that picture was taken. it was getting very jungle.

put to sea.

okay so this isn't anything terribly deep or weighty, but i just got this picture of a ship stuck in my mind the other day when i was thinking of my life. ha that's a bit trite.
i think this is a very normal reflection.

i have like three really important decisions that i find out about soon and will basically change the direction of my life a bit. i've been waiting on the Lord and putting my hope in Him, but that doesn't change the fact that when "it" doesn't go quite the way I planned, things get a little sticky.

hence, my brainpicture of the ship.

when you are sailing straight forward, it's easy. you have momentum, you can plan ahead, everything is unwrinkled and effortless. but when you need to change direction (or the Lord decides that your life needs to change direction), it takes A LOT of effort to turn the obstinate wheel. it takes much strength, it's usually hard, you strain and sweat and muscles shake. but once you have turned and have begun the new course, the sailing is smooth.

the turning will probably be hard. it'll probably hurt a little.
i'm a stubborn wheel.

but i believe the Lord's guidance...and that I'll end up where He wants me when it's done if i turn when He tells me to.

cool, lets do this.

come away.

"Come out from among them

and be seperate, says the Lord."

2 Corinthians 6:17

My beloved, you do not need to make your path, for I go before you. Yes, I will engineer circumstances on your behalf. I am your husband; I will protect you, care for you, and make full provision for you.
I know your need, and I am concerned for you: for your peace, for your health, for your strength. I cannot use a tired body, and you need to take time to renew your energies, both spiritual and physical. I am the God of battle, but I am also the One who said, "Those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength" (Isaiah 40:31).
I will teach you, as I taught Moses on the back side of the desert, and as I taught Paul in Arabia. In the same way, I will teach you, and it will be a constructive period, not in any sense wasted time. Like the summer course to the schoolteacher, it is vital to you in order to become fully qualified for your ministry.
There is no virtue in activity in and of itself - nor in inactivity. I minister to you in solitude that you may minister Me to others as a spontaneous overflow of our communion. Never labor to serve, nor force opportunities. Set your heart to be at peace and to sit at My feet. Learn to be ready but not to be anxious. Learn to say "no" to human demands and to say "yes" to the call of the Spirit. These may sometimes be at variance. Do not be distressed by the misunderstanding of people. Let Me take care of them Myself. They too must learn this same important lesson, and you can help them by setting the example; but if you try to please them by answering every demand, you will both fall into the same snare.
I am a jealous God, and I am always at peace with Myself. I would have you also to be at peace with My Spirit within you. As you give Me My rightful place and do not allow others to intrude, you will be at peace with Me. Be very serious in this. I am not speaking to you lightly. I was never more earnest in any message I have brought to you. Do not fail Me. I have brought you this message at various times in the past. It was never more urgent then now.
For people are experienceing a new awakening, and they are searching for My Truth more than ever. I must speak through My prophets; and if they are not set apart for Me, how can I instruct them? Yes, I will nourish you by the brook as I nourished Elijah; and I will speak to you out of the bush as I spoke to Moses and reveal My glory on the hillside as I did to the shepherds.
Come away, My beloved; be like the doe on the mountains; and we will go down together to the gardens.

[frances roberts]

betel.

i miss our betel kids.

every monday night, a bunch of us would go down to the park in the neighborhood adjacent to the betel spanish church in downtown saint paul and spend some time romping around the playground and open field with the kids. they are so beautiful and so curious about this 'Jesus.' i can't wait until next summer.

 

diego reading his new bible

jaelyn, aezhi, and i...watching the girls 'cheerlead'

calia and jaelyn

this present age.

modern observations. i think we can all relate.

1. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
2. Shirts get dirty. Socks gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
3. Nothing stinks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
4. Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.
5. Do you remember when you were a kid playing Nintendo and it wouldn't work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or FAQ's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft.
6. I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone's laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I'm still the only one who really, really gets it.
7. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text.
8. Was learning cursive really necessary?
9. Lol has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say".
10. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
11. Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron test is absolutely petrifying.
12. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?
13. Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using 'as in' examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today I had to spell my boss's last name to an attorney and said "Yes that's G as in...(10 second lapse)...ummm...Goonies"
14. MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
15. I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.
16. More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that's not only better, but also more directly involves me.
17. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
18. If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would probably just be completely invisible.
19. Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from, this shouldn't be a problem....
20. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want to have to restart my collection.
21. There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to fall after leaning your chair back a little too far.
22. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.
23. I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching TV. There's so much pressure. 'I love this show, but will they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren't watching this. It's only a matter of time before they all get up and leave the room. Will we still be friends after this?'
24. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Crap!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?
25. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
26. I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.
27. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet my life everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time.

brought to you by the clever people at ruminations.com.

mankind.

i love people observing. (understanding? beholding?) 

like the boy who was burning something (i think) in a parking space outside knutson and then randomly ran in a mad rush back into the dorms. and then back out. and then back in. and then back out to the parking lot. and then back in. i was going to roll down my window and ask him if he needed help, but we pulled away before he came out again. weird? maybe. absorbing and entertaining? yes.  

or when my confident physio professor meekly admitted that people have openly mocked him, his mannerisms, and beliefs before. and that it hurt. didn't see that one coming.

or the girl who sits towards the front of the class and always has a sweater, shirt, or otherwise falling off one shoulder revealing an alarming amount of tank tops layered beneath. i just want to yank it up and zip her jacket closed every day.

ive noticed people on sidewalks have a lot of trouble maintaining or making eye contact. and then it gets real awkward when you sort of know the person but not really. i've found that being deliberate is the best bet...none of that hesitating stuff.

the shuttle drivers, security guards, and maintenance men at northwestern could possibly be the sweetest, most pleasant people on campus. especially the big, russian security guard with the white, fu man chu mustache and the fur bomber hat. he's about four times my size and he gave me a piece of candy yesterday when i got on the bus. no words...just handed it to me.

some faces just look so lived in, so cultured and grounded in existence. i feel really safe with these people because they'll always know what to do.

i will give you rest says the Lord.

i visit these
mountains with frequency.
and I stand here with my arms out.
now somedays they'll last longer than others
but this day by the lake went too fast.

unlit

today i found out one of my dearest friends
has been clinically diagnosed with narcolepsy.
and we died laughing.
i just bought sock monkey slippers.
and they are the best thing ever;
its not everyday that you have footwear
that is happy to see you.
target has been out of splenda for approximately three weeks.
don't worry i've been checking. twice a week.
i dreamt about an important decision i needed to make,
decided what to do in the dream,
and then carried that out in real life.
is that okay to do?
if you don't bring things to the Lord,

          hourly,

you may become disheartened.
that was made quite clear to me two hours ago.
in physio psyc today,
i learned that it's detrimental to your health
to sleep with the light on.
you wont produce enough melatonin.
im not going to explain that,
just google it
and make sure your room is unlit.

12pm

someone come quickly, this place was built for moving out.

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this is a human wrong.