repose.

My presence will go with you, and I will give you rest. Exodus 33:14

the lift away.

so i enrolled in this poetry class for fall semester. first day of class i knew id come home: the professor had little pictures of aesthetically pleasing birds and plants and lanterns all over the syllabus for no reason at all. and she attempted a one-word-per-slide powerpoint, but then explained to the class that she wasn't very technologically advanced and didn't care much for powerpoints anyways (we had only gotten through one slide when this came up). perfect, right?
it's so wonderful, but i'm quickly seeing that this class is bringing me places i did not plan on going and unlocking little safe parts that i didn't plan on unlocking. i thought it would be fairly simple - go to class, read some poems, go to my dorm, write some poems. i would insert some clever and witty diction every so often, and that would be that. but really, things have been coming out that i didn't even know existed down there in the bottom of my mind. i'm loving it and hating it as it's surfacing things that i need to deal with and be honest with myself about, but it's completely engrossing at the same time. i'm discovering a really hardened and compact place that needs to be broken, and that hurts. instead of picking away at the pebble chips on the surface, this class (or more directly, the Lord) has handed me a sledgehammer. i know there will be all sorts of grace and redemption and loving from His side so I can only assume this unsettling and ruffling of my spirit is natural. why would i need grace-love if that perfectly sinful part of me wasn't blasting to the surface, per usual? i think my spiritual poverty is turning from black/white to color very quickly. needless to say, i'm still a bit insecure about what these poems look like, but if anything, it's started the blog-flow again. have missed this a little.

they're here, they're here. toot toot!

i haven't really had much time to blog lately, so hopefully you will be satisfied with my short little blurbs. i just wanted to say that my freshman arrived yesterday, and i could not love them more. 

ps. blog post #100 - does this make me an official blogger?

i love my apartment.

it's still part of the dorms BUT, we now have a dishwasher. and pretty, white slatted closet doors. God is so good to me. also, i am thankful for roommates who love Jesus passionately.

and: they both love tea.

these are the beginnings.

esther.

Isaiah 61:1-2, 8-9

The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me,
because the Lord has anointed me
to bring good news to the poor,
he has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim liberty to the captives,
and the opening of the prison to those who are bound;

to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor,
and the day of vengeance of our God;
to comfort all who mourn;

For I the LORD love justice;
I hate robbery and wrong;
I will faithfully give them their recompense,
and I will make an everlasting covenant with them

Their offspring shall be known among the nations,
and their descendants in teh midst of the peoples;
all who see them shall acknowledge them,
that they are an offspring the Lord has blessed.

zombies.

so you may or may not be interested to know that i had a dream closely resembling I Am Legend last night. i've decided that i have the weirdest dreams, and they have gotten so ornate when it comes to plot and content that i need to start writing them down. and this seems like a good place to do it.

this one was only slightly spooky.

so basically, it was winter out...one of those nights when the snow was blowing in sheets across the street, and somehow, in the back of my mind, i knew that everyone in the city was turning into a zombie (this has gotta be from I Am Legend). i was with paul, and we were hurriedly driving to my house to get some of my belongings before even my family turned. it was pretty black out...only the snow and streetlights where white. very monochromatic. anyway, we arrived and i remember dumping the contents of my bathroom drawer into my bag and haphazardly grabbing clothes out of my room - i didn't have much time. i saw my mom on the way out and knew just by looking at her that it was almost too late.

we then drove as fast as we could out of town far out into the country (as that would be the safest, clearly.) we stopped at a wooden, shanty-like bed and breakfast? to sleep, and something seemed fishy there too. there were green cornfields all around and it was dusky outside, quite pretty - but inside, the building had exposed pipes, boring walls, and beige carpet. i had my own room and was about to get ready for bed when a couple random people wandered in all friendly-like. they seemed normal, but i knew they weren't (insert dramatic music here). i ran into the bathroom and dialed paul's phone to call for help. he answered right away and said he was coming.

and then i woke up. because there were tornado sirens outside, on a thursday, at 10am, in perfectly sunny & blue sky weather.

huh.

washington. oregon. northern cali.

can i just express some of my excitement over the west coast road trip that is occurring next summer? this means camping, northern beaches, the woods, mountains, and seattle all at once. i am beside myself.